dancing with grace

I keep pinching myself, just to make sure this is real life, just to make sure I'm actually here.

I am.

This country is beautiful. Absolutely, take your breath away, is this real life kind of beautiful.

I'm living in the volunteer dormitory on the orphanage grounds, which has 12 different rooms for volunteers. Seeing as I'm the only volunteer living here, I had several options. They narrowed down to these two choices: I could either have a bigger bed with the view of a stone wall, or I could have a little twin size bed in a room that had more bugs than the rest, but had a view of the mountains and volcanoes. Naturally, I chose the view.

There's even sweet little truths posted on my door already.

Oh, did I mention that I'm blessed with the most wonderful partner?! You'd never know we met for the first time just last week. Her name is Melissa, and I don't know where I'd be without her! Literally. I'd probably be lost wandering the streets of San Salvador. She is my translator when I don't know what's being said and a girl who loves and adores these residents just as much as I do. I couldn't ask for a better partner!  This is her and one of the sweet girls we get to work with this summer. Though we will soon start teaching afternoon classes, we have been spending our days getting a feel for things and building relationships with the residents. We have a lot of amazing people to get to know, and let me tell you, the process of getting to know them has been incredible. They are beautiful. Perfect. We have spent a lot of our time feeding children in the Lactantes, which is the area in which many of the younger residents live. They are all in wheelchairs, non-verbal, and the most beautiful children I have ever laid eyes on. Feeding doesn't sound like much of a big deal, but because of their physical condition, eating is a struggle. They are on a soft food diet (each meal has the consistency of cream of wheat), and it often takes several hours just to feed the children one meal. We have learned how sweet of a bonding time it is to feed them. They will laugh for no apparent reason, and laugh some more, cry a little bit, but nothing a little tender loving care can't fix, and then laugh again.  I am blessed to work with such beautiful children of the Lord. I say children, but that includes the adults as well. They are just as beautiful and perfect...and have some spunky, hilarious personalities! One of my favorite times of the day is mornings when we get to spend time at the Rancho, where the residents hang out and we get to spend time with them individually or in small groups. This morning, I learned the key to Steven's heart: bubbles and beads. Lucky for me, I had both. Today was the 25th anniversary of the Hogar being founded, so needless to say, we celebrated! And boy, did they dance. They danced their little hearts out. With special musical appearances by Nahum and Memo (seriously, these boys had some mad skills) Somebody danced a little too hard. The girls out here have some crazy jewelry making skills, and we have had a blast making necklaces and bracelets in the afternoons.  And the rest of my time has been spent hanging out with the beautiful people of the Hogar.  The children (and adults) here make it worth every single language challenge I've faced. I'm blessed to spend my summer with these children God made so stinking perfectly. Seriously, nothing beats waking up in the morning and going to sit in the sun having conversations through communication books with Geovanny and Alonso, just a few of the older boys who are non-verbal yet brilliant, or spending hours feeding children in the Lactantes who are also non-verbal, yet find ways to laugh throughout the whole thing. It's worth every single moment, even when I end up with food on my face as a result of a tremendous giggle from a child, or say the wrong word to one of the older residents, because all of those situations make them laugh and those are irreplaceable moments that I cherish so much. "The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and the lilies of the field -- simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold and shape us." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Barnes & Noble & Autism

(this is a late post from earlier in May)

I just met a man at Barnes & Noble. He was in his early sixties, wearing his best business attire, and had his hands full of tax forms. The conversation started as he began to sit at the table next to me and said "I'm coming to sit over here, I can't stand sitting over there...that guy is nuts! See him?"

He pointed to the very same boy that I was admiring just moments before he sat down next to me. This boy, probably no older than me, had been alternating between sitting calmly in his chair, and then having sudden outbursts in which he stood up, walked on his tip-toes in circles, and flapped his hands close to his face. Of course I can't say for sure, but it's very safe to say that he had autism. I was just sitting down to read a book written by a girl with autism, so I was even more delighted to have a boy with autism in my presence as I read the book.

I knew exactly who this man was talking about before he even pointed. However, knowing that not everyone is aware of disabilities and characteristics of people who have them, I wanted to be careful with my response. I casually responded, "Oh that boy? With the yellow shirt?" to which the man responded "Yes! He's crazy! I can't get any of my work done. He's absolutely nuts."

This is where Jesus took over. I can't even tell you all that was said in this delightful 30 minute conversation.

I explained to him that this boy had autism, and those atypical movements were his way of "stimming", which meant that was the way he was processing all the stimuli in the environment (people, music, sounds, lights, etc.) I then began to explain that everyone has these stimming behaviors, like kicking your foot when your legs are crossed, or biting your nails. I noticed he was tapping his pen very quickly on the table. I said, "Look! That pen tapping you're doing right now? That's stimming." He was astounded.

Questions began flying left and right, not even just about autism, but disabilities all over the board. I was finally putting all my countless hours in college classrooms and diagnoses trainings at Camp Barnabas to use. I am by no means an expert, but it blew my mind that in his sixty something years of life, he had not once been exposed to someone who explained different disabilities and their varying characteristics. Even more incredible was that this guy told me he had a son with a learning disability, one who his teachers said wouldn't succeed past high school, but now has a college degree, a wife, and three children. I told him how wonderful of a father he must have been to fight for his son's future, contrary to what the teachers said. I told him that stories like that are the truth and beauty of the individuality of each person, and ultimately, common characteristics of a disability don't define who a person is.

The Lord spoke in the entirety of that thirty minutes, shedding light onto this man's perception of people with disabilities. He told me he had never thought about it in the way I explained it to him, and that he was going to try to not be quick to judge others. I let him know he shouldn't feel bad about it, and told him how great it was talking to him. It was a mutually beneficial conversation. I learned things from him, he learned things from me (Jesus), and we fully sought to understand where the both of us were coming from. He thanked me for talking to him, wished me the best of luck, and that was it.

I will probably never see or speak to this man again. But that's the beauty of embracing every opportunity the Lord hands you. This was such a sweet chance to be an advocating voice for someone who couldn't speak up for himself, and I have no doubt about the impact the Lord will make on others through that man's experience.

Let this encourage you to fearlessly jump into conversations and situations the Lord brings you to. These things happen EVERY DAY. May we run into these situations with His eyes, His voice, His heart...He desires to use us like this!